Nice, In A Grandfatherly Way

Dear Maria,

Memorial Day weekend, arrived and gone. A welcome respite for my former colleagues who now must surely know the end is soon come. And as of next Saturday night, the last of my students, members of the Class of ’14, will receive their diplomas and off they will go on their personal adventures.

Last week I was reminded again during a conversation with my sister how I had never been a parent of my own children, and so in so many obvious ways I was given a pass on that tilt-a-whirl of emotions and responsibilities. Students returned to their homes, and I returned to mine. Works out that way with nieces and nephews as well.

This morning in the shower, the hot water blasting my head—which is good for thinking, or so says some research—I returned in my mind to more than two years ago when an assistant principal gleefully told me that a student described me as being nice, in a grandfatherly way. Ouch.

Simple, the arithmetic. Seventeen-year-old student, 37 year-old parents, and kindly 57-year-old Mr. Kaple. Ouch, again, but there you have it. Now, as I have time to reconsider the span of years in the classroom, I wish more of my years in front of my students were more grandfatherly. Took a long time for my heart to catch up with my head—never quite did, honestly. But clearly more so later than earlier, I think.

We stand at the edge of the slipperiest of slopes when we begin a conversation about what is or is not important in the classroom, what is necessary or not necessary. I always doubted, knew I erred, but still I pushed forward with the work. I always cared about the welfare of my students, but perhaps I was not easy enough in my own saddle to balance the meaning of the work with the need for a heart. As a grandfather might do.

Would be easy to launch into can’t know until you get there musings, but that too is a slope I would just as soon not tumble down.

Of late, a blue jay has taken to visiting the rescue elm out front around mid-morning. Perhaps he needs some time from the demands of the nest. Or, perhaps he is Old Grandfather Jay and may make his way around at his leisure.

At my leisure, then. With you and for you, srk